Make Sure No One Reads Your Blog

Interesting topic today, huh?  How to make sure absolutely NO ONE reads your blog.

You can do just that using these handy, dandy reader-repelling tricks:

1.  Don’t write one.  Clever, I know.  But only those Virtual Assistants who are hoping to attract clients and readers and visitors to their website should actually write a blog.   If you don’t want traffic…then don’t even write a blog dang-namit!

2.  Fill it with useless content.  To deter potential readers – see if you can consistently come up with a lot of empty, boring,  content with that no one is interested in.

3.  Steer clear of catchy titles!  Your blog post titles are usually what determines whether people stop in their tracks and read your post…or delete you immediately without even OPENING your post.  Use lame, un-interesting headlines to keep pesky people from bothering with your blog.

4.  Format the whole post in plain, un-adorned text.  Definitely do not use bold, ALL-CAPS, spaces, indents or italics or bullet points.   And under NO circumstances should you add an image!   All of these can make your blog easier and more enticing to read.  And you don’t want that!

5.  Be as long-winded as possible.  That’s right – you don’t want people taking a short break from their day to browse your writing –  so be certain to write and write…and write…and write…and write…and write…and write…and write…(be incredibly dry) then write…and write…and write…then write some more!  Most folks never bother to read looooong articles.

6.  DO NOT PROOF & EDIT.  Peeple hate re*ding blogs ridddled with speelling errorz!  Use lotsa bad grammar two.   This wil insure NO ONE readz past the furst para-graph.

7.  Finally – Skip the Share buttons.  Oh my goodness…if you don’t want your blog to be read then by all means, do not include easy buttons that might entice people to share your content on their social media sites!  That could be a HUGE mistake.

Of course, if you DO intend to have people visit, read and come back to your blog often, then you will have to ignore the above list and do the opposite of everything I’ve told you today.  Happy blogging!

About the Author

Hi - I'm Lisa McDonell, a Virtual Assistant who shows other women how to launch and grow their own online business, make money from home and have a fun and supportive Virtual Assistant Lifestyle.

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